Friday, December 13, 2013


God’s timing and His answers to prayers,
 are both simultaneously intricate and simple.

this knowledge,
this blessing from God, of answered prayers, is not new to me;
but every time it happens i’m in awe.
i tell chase all the time He ALWAYS answers my prayers,
He has promised to,
we just need to see it, hear it, feel it, acknowledge it.

lately I’ve been praying for humility
but I didn’t start off there, I didn’t know where to start really;
I just knew something needed to change,
 with this move to California I’ve floundered with what to do-
I have too much time.
so I began praying with the intention to find a job,
that seemed logical to me, but the words never really formed into that.
I could never seem to say Lord, help me find a job, instead I worked around it;
help me, help me was my verbal and often silent plea.
my prayers then seemed to turn to help me find a purpose,
something to do with my life (not just in the realm of jobs),
I wanted to be fulfilled,
to find something that could give me a passion, like Chase has found.
but as the days have passed i’ve been gifted with more waiting;
so I prayed for strength to be patient and calm in the waiting;
I began to pray that I could just be happy each day.

now I see I was unwittingly praying for humility;
“having a clear perspective, and therefore respect, for one’s place in context.”
“to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord-to understand that we have
constant need for His support”.

God has turned my original messy prayer into an answer
to pray for humility, to seek for humility, to become humble.

He led me there through people and His timing.
as I picture the process that took place over minutes, days, weeks and even years
it all seems so effortless and simple  (the touch of the Master’s hand).
but believe me the process has not been simple and effortless or even pretty;
and it will always be ongoing,
but I now have a clear concise word for what I should seek for and learn.
Humility.

how do I become humble?
well He answered that prayer too.
“Always Remember Him.”

i thought I was doing this well enough,
but God wanted me to see that I needed to focus MORE
that’s the key focusing on Him-DAILY!

as we FOCUS on HIM DAILY
we no longer have a desire to do evil,
we draw nearer to Him,
we begin to develop more attributes like Him.
we begin to rely on Him and become humble.

so not only do I think and pray to Him
I’ve begun keeping a journal of His hand in my daily life.
as I begin recording it,
I see and feel He was with me, He is with me and will always be with me.
what a wonderful blessing.
what a wonderful powerful lesson God has given me.
I’ve literally felt my heart begin to change,
to be filled with charity, forgiveness, and humility.
and in it I’ve found purpose.

“And inasmuch as they were humble
they might be made strong,
and blessed from on high,
and receive knowledge from time to time”
D&C 1:26-28




Thursday, October 24, 2013

i can’t explain
there just aren’t words
for the way I’ve been feeling
for the thoughts I’ve been thinking
for the things I’ve been saying
but I have to try
because in my trying I can find what I’ve unknowingly been looking for

someone once said there are battles fought in our subconscious
those battles leave scars
scars that reflect on our senses
 
i know it’s true
because sometimes I scratch without knowing why
 and then i realize
because i bleed and feel
and through the pain
i learn to recognize the original weakness
the resultant battle
 
- i begin to heal -
next time I’ll be ready
and maybe just maybe I’ll win the next one:)

Thursday, October 3, 2013


- love -

i’m not sure i understood,
even now i know i don’t fully understand,
but i’m beginning to.

it’s not about me.

it takes time, it’s a process.
love doesn’t come all at once but over time.
it comes from wishing, dreaming, praying
and then serving, nurturing and cherishing.

when that love comes it is powerful.
it can heal all wounds.
it’s the type of love that transcends time and space.
it opens every chamber of the heart and soul, 
it shows the eyes how to truly see and the ears to truly hear what matters most.
this love makes life worth living.
it makes the hard times a little easier and the good times sweet.

this love speaks peace and whispers music in the wind.
it makes the eyes leak tears of joy and the body shake.
for in this love another world is glimpsed.
a world that is encompassed with this love; 

His love. 
because He is there.

sometimes i anguish because i long to be there - but it takes time.

for now i am content with the glimpses i am given.
as i nurture, and cherish His love for me and mine for Him,
i see that same love for all his children, 
and my heart is expanded - to love them.
the sweetness of it all is so great;  that sometimes i cannot seem to bare it.

one of the best days of my life.




Tuesday, August 6, 2013


thank you chantel marie photography for these great pictures