i’m dreaming..

dreaming of a home

a place my mister and i can claim

where everywhere is touched by us

where personality shines through

where creativity abounds

but mostly i’m dreaming of

little people

people chase and i can claim

where we can smile 

just because,

just because they are ours.

i dream of holding them tight

but setting them free

giving them an anchor

but letting them fly

i dream of their smiles their laughter

their little pajama clad feet

i can almost hear their little voices

i wonder if they’ll be more like me

or more like chase-

i panic wondering will we be good to them

will they be happy..

i panic wondering if i’ll forget the joy i feel 

just dreaming about them - when they are actually here

but then i see chase, i see our dreams

i close my eyes and realize whose in charge

i realize that He’s always been with me

He will be in this too.

i think we will be good parents

i think my kids will be happy.

Some things I’ve been thinking about are simple things;

It seems like, and maybe it’s just me, 

but the simple things are the hardest things.

I get confused on them more than the big things.

Specifically I get confused because 

others seem to not know the simple things or not do them – 

this confuses me.  

 It’s like when someone is smoking, why?  

 Why do that?   

We all know it has no perks and has vast negative effects, 

but people still do it!!!?

This may not make sense, but bear with me, if you can.

A lot of times I write or talk before 

I’m completely sure what I’m trying to say and 

eventually if I write or talk long enough I can pin down what I’m thinking.

Okay so here goes – my whole life I’ve always been 

told how important the temple is.  

 Okay simple enough right –

 the temple is important.   

Because it’s important we should go as often as we can. 

Okay great! So let’s do this right? 

Wrong.

Well what’s the problem?   

Why can’t we seem to get past 

the funk the haze of the things we know we should do,

 the things we’ve been told to do, and the actuality of doing them?

I feel like I’ve struggled with this in the past for so long.  

 But I’ve finally been breaking through. 

 I think the biggest step was when I started losing weight.  

 I knew to really lose weight I’d need to make a plan, 

eat less and eat better and work out.  

 Okay so let’s go!   

That was my thinking, and in the past this had never worked.  

 But somehow I actually wanted to do this.  

 I wanted to stop complaining about all the ways I wanted to change, and just do it! 

 I wanted results, I was hungry for them.  

 So day after day I made a conscious decision

 to do the steps that would give me the results I wanted so badly.  

 And you know what?  It worked!

What a concept right?  

 Actually doing the things you know you should do, pay off!!

So I feel like it is with everything in life.  

 I want to grow closer to God I want to do what he wants me to do. 

 But for a long time I was stuck in a rut of knowing and not doing.  

 I made excuses, I complained, 

I started plans with good intentions but gave up when I was discouraged. 

But once I saw what I was doing, making excuses, 

complaining and overall not being very happy.   

I took a good long hard look at myself and realized I didn’t like it;

 I didn’t like this wimpy version of myself. 

So then I thought what am I going to do about this?   

Am I going to act or merely be acted upon? 

 NO I could do this and it takes baby steps to get there but eventually you’ll get there. 

I wanted to have a goal to go to the temple once a week! 

Cause why the heck not!! 

It’s close, it’s beautiful, it makes me happy, 

and there are enumerable blessings that I can receive when I go.   

And not only that it helps me accomplish the thing

 I’ve been trying to do - to serve others.   

WOW all that can happen in a 2 hour period.   

Well let’s do this then! 

I started off strong and then tapered out a little and 

then was in my car accident and couldn’t go for a lot of months.  

 But then I said “Elise if you’re going to do this let’s do it right!”

 So I asked my Bishop if I could work in the temple – he said yes, 

I had an interview with the temple president’s counselor – 

they told me I’d start the following week.  

 And now here I am 4-5 months later, 

working in the temple every Saturday morning-   

SO happy!! You know why?   

Because I feel like I’m doing something.  

I feel like I can do anything!   

I feel like my perspective of this life and the next are 

coming into focus like I can reach out and grasp my future, my eternity. 

I think it’s a hard thing to learn in life that you aren’t a victim.   

You can do anything and I mean ANYTHING you want to do!

If you are unhappy change something.

 I’m amazed at the power we can find when we stop 

complaining stop criticizing and stop making excuses, 

and if we find ourselves doing this again 

after we’ve started down a new path we 

need to forgive ourselves and quickly start again!

hope

“wherefore, whoso believeth in God 

might with surety hope for a better world...

which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men,

which would make them sure and steadfast.”

i find it fascinating how real the eternities are

i know that sounds weird but that’s the best way i can put it

i’m dumfounded, humbled, in awe and so grateful that this life is not all

that what is (no matter how good it is) is not always what will be

i can’t imagine who i’d be without this knowledge

i know i have weaknesses and that i have a long way to go

but i’m trying and have tried to be “sure and steadfast”

so until i become perfectly sure and steadfast

here’s to 

hope

image via www.fromupnorth.com

- this guy -

“Aim high, but do not aim so high that you totally miss the target. 

What really matters is that he will love you, 

that he will respect you, that he will honor you, 

that he will be absolutely true to you, 

that he will give you the freedom of expression 

and let you fly in the development of your own talents. 

He is not going to be perfect, but if he is kind and thoughtful, 

if he knows how to work and earn a living, 

if he is honest and full of faith, 

the chances are you will not go wrong, that you will be immensely happy.” 

- Gordon B. Hinckley

i like that part "that he will give you the freedom of expression

and let you fly in the development of your own talents"

i'm my biggest critic and chase is my biggest supporter

how could i do it without him

this life i mean- 

he is patient and kind

he tells me i'm beautiful and kisses me when i'm sweaty

does the laundry,dishes, and cooking

when i'm cold and tired he picks me up and carries me

finds my warmest sweats

puts on my warmest socks and rubs my feet

tucks me into bed and gives me his blanket

then kisses me and says "i love you"

words are insufficient to describe my heart, my soul, my mind;

where they were, where they are and where I hope they go.

I try to read, I try to write, I try to close my eyes and pray 

but still,

 words will not suffice.

but I’ll keep on reading, writing, and praying

because when words fail, 

feelings are more than sufficient.

have you ever felt a shift before?

not a shift you can explain,

but a shift that leaves you right side up

and sends you down the right road?

i’ve felt it but it means so much more now,

this shift.

i think it means more because I had further to come

i was desperate – hanging on the edge of my seat

wishing, hoping, praying,

losing my hope, my wishes, my prayers

then one day,

i shifted.

not by myself but with the greatest help of all.

my gaze, my thoughts, my feelings,

have all shifted.

and i am SO content, SO happy.

i can only imagine the next shift

how content, how happy,

can one person be?

infinitely

image -pinterest via-

http://abduzeedo.com/daily-inspiration-1095

-we had an unconventional thanksgiving- 

but a good one

we ate at tucanos followed by

watching the new lincoln movie

we missed our sister mary and her husband nate 

but can't wait to see them at christmas:)

hope you all had a good one!