sometimes i think i’ve got it

i think i’m doing so good and then..

i’m hit

i’m hit with the burdens of my expectations, my imperfections

i can’t seem to breathe

and just when i thought I’d learned to breathe deeper than ever

i panic, i cry, i get irrational, i don’t respond to things like i normally would

just when I think i’ll never breathe again

a breath of air floats my way

it floats so softly and gently that i almost miss it

i probably have missed it,

it’s been there all along i just couldn’t take it in

i couldn’t get my mouth to open or my body to inhale before

and now i can part my lips i can inhale as much as I can handle

my body begins to relax out of it’s panic

i’m not breathing as deep as i once was

But someday i’ll breathe deeper

“it is discovering Jesus, finding holy moments daily,

that will make us whole.”

– emily freeman “becoming his”

image - via pinterest

words acknowledge that imagination is just as important as reality

without imagination how would we shape our future

our future reality would be bleak without first dreaming about it

dreams influence our desires, desires influence our dreams

"what we insistently desire is what we will ultimately become" 

-neal a maxwell

here's to imagining, dreaming, desiring.....

 insistently

till I've become

image - thomas steuer

as i walked to work this morning

i had a perfect moment.

a moment of definition -

they come when i have been prepared

they come when i am still -

these moments are sweet and peaceful

i felt the cool air on my skin

the silence surrounding me

my feet kept walking but my soul wanted to stop

to soak it all in till i could almost disappear into the moment itself 

and then i heard the whisper of 

"remember"

remember this sweetness this almost utter perfectness

for when i can remember these times of definition

i am made strong in my moments of weakness

"here than is a great truth.

in the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, 

we pass through a refiner's fire, 

and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives 

can melt away like dross and make our faith

bright, intact and strong.  

in this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul.

it is part of the purging toll exacted of some to 

become acquainted with God."

image - kim haltermand

"He is mightier than all the earth...then why not mightier than this."

where is my faith?

"the final outcome is certain - the forces of righteousness will finally win. 

what remains to be seen is where each of us personally, 

now and in the future, will stand in this fight - 

and how tall we will stand.

great battles can make great heroes, but heroes will make great battle.

you will never have a better opportunity to be a greater hero

in a more crucial battle than in the battle you will face today

and in the immediate future.

be warned that some of the greatest battles you will face

will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul."

sometimes faith comes easier than other days,

sometimes i don't even realize i don't have faith.

but then i realize that these battles within my soul and without - 

are tearing me down, 

my soul has become weary.

again where is my faith?

"He is mightier than all the earth...then why not mightier than this."

- picture by Marta Bielsa

i love the simple words of the scriptures

the power that flows from a phrase or even a word;

"for the Lord God will help me,"

- 2 nephi 7:7

i found myself today

Or rather…

 i found a part of me that i’d like to root out

i’d like to gut it out, trench it out, cry it out

anything but have it live inside of me

along with this gut wrenching desire I felt a sense of enlightenment

a sense of moving forward, moving towards a goal

because as painful as the knowledge is

the knowledge of this awful part of myself

if i didn’t see it,

if i didn’t recognize and acknowledge it for what it was

how could I begin to change? 

how could i hope to be better, if i didn't realize i needed to be better?

image - http://www.photographyoffice.com/