"I have dreamt in my life.......

i'm trying to go somewhere,

come if you want but here's to somewhere

one day my somewhere will have a name

but until then here it is... 

365 days of it

writing whatever floats in or out or passes by.. 

where are you going I ask

why won’t you stop and look at me

why wont you see me for who I am

not for who you want to me to be

when will you realize

realize that what you hope to see is what I’ve seen all along

every day you see what you want to see

not what’s really there

sometimes you look a little longer dig a little deeper

but not when it counts

when it counts you skim you shield eyes that would see

and recognize what you really are what you really could be

being

hoping that one-day being won’t merely be being anymore

but that

being

will become something more

something like

living, breathing,

soaring

soaring beyond bounds

soaring

so far and so long and so joyously

that

being

once a nightmare becomes a wisp of regret

too many things running

so many things stalling

stopping

running

where do they go when stopping, running or stalling

are no longer an option

do they drift in the outer reaches of my brain

never to be seen again

do they disintegrate into nothingness after all my somethings

consume them

skimming the surface

it seems satisfying

why though?

when I can’t accept it

it doesn’t satisfy it scratches at my insides

till I feel I’ll go crazy with wanting to

dive into the depths

depths that so many seem satisfied

never skimming

if something happened that you only ever thought about

what would you do

Would you just think about it some more

would you rashly act

or would you know before no matter what happened

what you would do?

I like to think about what

I know I would do.

I woke up this morning wondering what the day

would bring

sleep is almost here and I’m still wondering what the day

has brought

staring at the interplay of shadow and light I wonder

when did the shadows meet the light

when I blinked when I was too busy to notice

eventually the light is devoured by dark

will I be this way?

will I blink or be too busy to notice?

will I be left staring at the interplay of a shadow?

sometimes I’m running

sometimes I’m still

or far away or near

but most disturbing of all

is when I’m crawling

crawling with head down

trying desperately to reach
but seemingly never reaching 

that distant horizon

again

so that I can be still